GIP prelude china has come and gone.

we've been back for two days. and i'm still feeling so lost about being back. i miss the single rooms we were so shocked to get on the first day, the lousy toilets, the stupid internet access, my bed, my shelf, the stupid flooring near the toilet that i keep having to kick back into place. i miss the row of 4L bottles that lined the bottom shelf. i miss the people flooding my room at all times, i miss the night drinking sessions at cheeyang's room, even when i have to keep drinking/spinning and cheeyang kept his hand over my mouth to shut me and save himself. i miss the 馒头s that liying keeps causing me to eat, i miss the huge dining room we eat at. i miss the walmart shoppings that inadvertantly end up with us carting back many many bottles of bicardi/dunno what other alcohol that struck our attention, i even miss the stupid 梅酒。i miss spin-the-lazy-susan games, i miss the shit lobster game with kelvin, 海带 with cheeyang, 猜拳 with xu wei, and scissors paper stone with kwok kiong. i miss being the target all the time, i miss the stupid camwhoring on 泰山 (and everywhere else, for that matter). i miss the drinking games with the cards, i miss the lessons, the paper cutting, the propaganda, the education system. i miss the classrooms, the lecture place, the lobby where we learnt 太极. i miss the people at the counter of our block, the 围棋 board as decoration, the convenience store downstairs. i miss the long walks to the place we have our meals. i miss the 孔子i statue along the way, the stretch of stinky road. the blue long-tailed birds, the lovely willow trees. i miss singing HSM songs with my fellow HSM fans during the eclipse, i miss not knowing the way to the 南门 北门 and whatever other 门s there are. i miss all the taxi rides, the ridiculously long walk with chihua xuwei xiao feng to walmart on the second night (where we tried to scandalise them), the shopping at 泺口 and 老东门 and that shopping center place where i got my bag. i miss looking at jessica's insane buys.

i miss the exams, the graduation ceremony, and the karaoke night where they had a surprise celebration for me. i miss even the place we went clubbing in, the room where we had so much fun, even getting drunk. i miss the trust i had in our guys (i still have it) to allow myself to get so inebriated with them. i miss everyone and everything so much.

there's so much i miss i cannot begin to describe it all.

空虚的感觉非常强，但，又能怎样呢？只有慢慢的回味，自己承受那想念的痛苦。回到了新加坡，什么都变了。不再有那样的感觉，那样的新鲜感。从每天都在一起到完全没见面，不好受。好想念那群朋友，那群使我这一趟那么精彩，丰富。好希望不会就这样告别，而会一直留作好朋友。

这次去中国，收获真不少。说华语流利很多，写起来也容易不少。读得也快许多。懂得的知识丰富了一些，看到了不少新的事物。

there were many firsts for me on this trip. a first pedicure, a first where all the lessons were conducted in chinese. the first time i mixed more with the guys then the girls, the first time i drank almost every night. the first time i had a surprise birthday party, the first time i sang karaoke in a bus. the first time i got a hair treatment at a salon, the first time i cut my hair overseas. the first time i placed so much trust in all the guys in my group. the first time i broke a lot of the inhibitions i have in me. the first time i went overseas without family, the first time i handled everything by myself. the first time i drank so much mineral water.

and so much more i can't list them all.

gatherings are proving hard to coordinate. once we're all back we have our own commitments, our own friends. there, it was just us and no one else. it's so different here. i almost didn't want to come back, but now i'm back, i'm looking forward to meeting dajie, to seeing my dearest freshies, peds grace sufi and other seniors. to my dearest dearest raviolis, and my dancers. haven't been to dance in 3 weeks. i wonder how everyone's been, how laoshi is now. i heard 桃腰 is finished, efficient (:

it's time to get back to everyday life. welcome back to reality kai.


living in my fantasy world

on Monday, July 27, 2009; 10:02 PM