we're on the last few days of GIP prelude china.

much as i was so reluctant to come here on the day before i was due to fly off, i don't regret it one bit. i've met so many people, i've learnt a lot. i've had the craziest week of my life.

yesterday we tried (ok it was the day before yesterday it's almost 2am already) a salon in china. i got psycho-ed by cheeyang to go cut my hair when initially it was just the guys cutting. then i did the treatment and psycho-ed xuwei who was washing his hair beside me to do it. then in the end EVERYONE did the treatment hahahahaha. then after it...

we went to eat supper -.-fat fat!

6 of us ate erm 40 sticks of mutton, 22 sticks of prawn and 6 sticks of sausage. it was really really awesome tasting i wanted more can. then we came back to more games (: this time round in my room cos everyone wanted to check their emails. it got damn hilarious.

but it cannot compare to today. seriously damn funny i cannot believe it. so many rounds of card games and two sets of taupok-ing by the guys argh.

we have set a target, 200 lian pai-s tomorrow. cos we're going qian fo shan! after the lecture of course.

and there's going to be an eclipse later. i am very happy to be in one of the best places to watch it happening ((:



sometimes i wonder how i'd feel if i were her. i think i'll be very very jealous. and goddamn pissed. but i am not her i don't care. this makes me sound really selfish and uncaring, but i really don't care cos i don't know her anyway. it's not about what i think anyway, it's between them and their choices. if they're really ok with it then there's nothing i can and should do.


and i really really sometimes wished i never went through march and april of last year. it brings lingering problems for me. i wanted to remain friends, but it was tough for me then. now, i'm not sure of his intentions. but i have my suspicions. and those suspicions make me very uncomfortable. it gives me a jolt right to the stomach to see that name appearing on my phone. i know i sound curt in my replies, but i cannot help it because i am afraid of giving people the wrong idea.

as we all know, there are many possible ways of giving the wrong idea to people. i am sick and tired of doing it. it happens all the time to me. i am blur, i know. i am not too observant, i know. i am also oblivious to many things around me, i know. i need to learn to be less so. more sharp, alert and observant.

and i have another huge problem. there are certain behaviours i really cannot tolerate. i HATE it, absolutely hate it when people make me feel dumb. if you have something to tell/teach me, you can do it nicely, not in that condescending way that makes me feel like an idiot. i can accept things better the other way too. and the same thing goes when i want to teach people something i feel is better. i don't belittle them, i don't make them feel lousy. involvement in the process is a better way of getting your point across. i feel like slapping him whenever he says such things.

another behaviour i cannot stand is blatant idiocy. i am turning into bitching mode but i cannot help it i must rant. who the hell responds to someone talking about a terrorist attack with "one question. what has it got to do with us?"

like WTF. WTF WTF WTF.

get the hell out of here what are you even doing on an exchange if you don't care about the world at all? argh. i'm channeling my inner bitch.


despite all this, i'm still glad i'm here. when the time comes, i'll cry about leaving. i'll miss the friend's i've made, the times we shared. i'll miss my small little single room when i'm alone like now, and also when it was full like just now. i'll miss our suppers, our drinking games, the whoosh, the dining rooms. the stupid toilet, the hot water periods of only 6 to 11am, 530 to 11pm. the classrooms, the lecture theatre. the long exploratory sessions around jinan. a haircut that costed only 2 dollars, fruits by the crateful appearing in xuwei's room. facebook only in jane's room, kenneth's funny joining in the fun haha. camwhoring (camwhores of the world unite, current count more than 3000), cheeyang's stupid waist pouch, chi hua's highing about being fairies. guo qiang's totally funniness, sin yee's craziness. liying's funny hairstyle, etc etc etc.

i'm starting to emo.

ok i should just go to bed, waking earlier tomorrow for the eclipse.

sigh.


living in my fantasy world

on Wednesday, July 22, 2009; 1:45 AM