was writing a little something in chinese just now. and all of a sudden, i realised how much i miss it. the beauty of the characters, and the way each stroke had to be written, the precision and the order of each stroke, how one stroke cannot and should not come before the other.

but it feels strange, my hand has lost the feeling, the comfortable feeling it once had while writing chinese. not that it was ever my strong suite, but i never felt strange writing it, like my hand somehow cannot be angled properly in order for me to write comfortably.

sigh.


despite my sort-of-fear towards the written chinese language, i still admire the beauty of it. it is in no way simple, but it's complexity makes it beautiful. i think i admire it even more now because it is so far away from me, as though it's never really been part of my life before. perhaps i should do something about it.

maybe not.

but one thing is for certain, CS's lack of exposure to anything chinese irks me. it doesn't have to be written, even spoken. people ask me why i'm speaking in chinese when i lapse back into chinese.

which makes hanging out with dajie and li ying such a refreshing change. i can speak in anything i want to (:


living in my fantasy world

on Sunday, April 05, 2009; 5:55 PM