my entire family decided to have an early night tonight.

it's raining, it's pouring. i hear it through all the closed windows and balcony doors in my house. there's this strange yearning for me to be OUT THERE, instead of being cooped up here, trying to cram some biology into my head.

i want to be free.

i want to dance in the rain, and in the moonlight, both at the same time. casting back to the past, i realised i haven't gotten properly soaked and happy in 2 years or so. since i left hc. i've always loved a good walk in the rain, and it's usually solitary, cos so far i've only ever heard one other person speak of walking in the rain as a pleasurable experience. but thinking of that hurts too.

what has gotten into me, to have caused me to find shelter every time it rains for 2 whole years?

life, that's what. the older we grow, the more restrictions we find placed on ourselves. people observe us, place judgment on us whenever we do something that others find unacceptable. which, of course, includes walking in the rain.

oh, what the hell. I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE OUT IN THE RAIN

at least it can wash all the hell out of me, the thoughts, the fears, the pain.






i think my greatest fear is allowing NTU chinese dance crush the passion for dance out of me.


living in my fantasy world

on Saturday, February 28, 2009; 9:49 PM