omg my OCD has reached an all time high (that's obsessive compulsive disorder to you. mine is regarding hygiene)

i was supposed to shower and then leave the house to meet dajie at mac's to study. after i came out from the shower approximately 5 minutes ago, i felt so clean that i couldn't bear to
1. be contaminated by the not-so-clean air outside my house
2. imagine even sitting on the mac's chairs
3. breathe in the disgusting oil filled aura of mac's.

wait, it gets worse.

so i walked back downstairs to where my book and chiobu was (the living room coffee table) i was sitting on the floor and studying on the coffee table before going to shower. and then... i felt too clean to sit on the carpet. i didn't even want my legs/ass to touch the floor. nor my hands to touch chiobu/the coffee table. and then i went to take cushions to cushion my butt. but found that i feel the cushions were just as dirty. i was holding them by my fingertips till i placed them down on the floor.

and then i had to force myself to sit on them argh.

i feel so contaminated again. gross.

howhowhow my ocd is getting worse. it used to be just cannot stand people/objects brushing me after my shower. it's mutated into full blown nothing is to touch me but the air and the floor to the soles of my feet. and my house is like uber clean already can.

omg omg omg. i need to cure this. this is too much.

#edit# and now i can't even bear to put Communication Research onto my lap. >.< so dirty so dirty so dirty. maybe i should stop showering with dettol. it might be a causal factor. #edit#


living in my fantasy world

on Thursday, February 05, 2009; 8:55 PM