just remembered. last night, when everyone had rushed out after packing within like 5 minutes, only xinling and i were left in dressing room SS108. then she asked me, "kaishi don't you think it all worked out? gym closing and all?" well, i have to say, it did. as was my reply to her question, yes. all my closest friends are from dance, i've fallen in love with dance, i've found a group of people i loved. i've had the most amazing experiences, gone up the esplanade stage not once, not twice, but three times, the chance to love laoshi and the juniors, the chance to be dance ic in hwachong, and to learn so much i never would have learnt. where would i be, if i had never joined dance? i shudder to imagine. well, i probably would have joined mad, never found my closest friends, never had the chance to explore my limits the way i have. never lost my heart to dance, never found out that there could be a woman as amazing as laoshi, and never be as busy as i am. there's a reason why i joined the facebook group: i'm sorry....i have dance. it's a group dedicated to all those who've had to miss fun things just because they've dance. but so far, i've never heard a word of complaint from dancers, we all believe its worth it, to miss all that. i've missed class gatherings of sec sch and jc, missed family outings, missed lessons, missed important dates etc, but still it's still worth it. every second i'm dancing, i'm happy. that's what makes everything so dear and precious to me. in gym, it was never about the people. and both xinling and i articulated that thought at the same time in exactly the same words. then we were discussing if the gym seniors actually liked me or not -.- but the point is, in nycd, and for me, hccd, it was ALWAYS　about the people. they were the ones who made me feel welcome, who never made me feel out of place even when i only joined them in sec 3 november for syf. the ones who made my day with little gifts/messages/show of concern. the ones whom we all went to pig out together. who... the memories are endless. somehow, all these soften the bitterness i had towards mdm mak for closing rhythmic gym down as a cca in nanyang.yes, xinling, it all worked out. it's time to turn my attention on uni. the course registration thing is giving me a headache. well at least we don't have to bid for mods unlike nus. but trying to find a nice timetable is like trying to convince me not to eat chocolate. almost impossible. so i now have to actually go to school on all 5 days le, unless i manage to find an even better timetable by tomorrow. considering the fact that this evening was the first time i entered the STARS system to look through how it works, i think i'm quite accomplished to have gotten the hang of it. shucks. my mindset is slowly shifting away from dance night. nonono i don't want to have to let go of it. but hanging on to it will make things worse. grawr.season of blooms. will it ever happen again?
living in my fantasy world
on Sunday, August 03, 2008; 12:25 AM
