i can't believe it's all over. ALL OVER.绽放的花季 season of blooms
一路走来，对我来说，不能说苦。但对学妹们来说，非常不容易。还记得，我们中四那年，老师说要在 esplanade 为我们举行一场晚会，我们都非常高兴。但是，我总来没有想到真的会去，以为最多只是会在普通的场所跳。应该是二月多吧，听见学妹们说真的要上esplanade 的舞台，还真的下了一跳。一转眼，几个月的时间就这样过了，晚会谢幕了。好不想回到普通的日子，想一辈子当南中舞蹈员，当一位正在筹备《绽放的花季〉〉的演员。好不想离开。从排练到道具，从筹款到售票，舞蹈晚会的点点滴滴都是学妹们在做。看见他们那么辛苦，总觉得自己没帮到他们，也有点愧疚。但，没有我们的帮助，他们一样做的非常好。我真的为他们感到骄傲。ok shall switch back to english. using chi to type/think is super slow, since my chinese is pok. but the problem with english is i'll think and type too fast, and sometimes end up incoherent. 待到山花烂漫时它在丛中笑as one of the original dancers of this dance, i can really say the non original dancers have risen to the roles well. the original version danced in 2005 is really something special to me. especially when we see the snow fall. i remember crying with meiling just because the feeling of the dance overwhelmed me. i remember running backstage in the middle of the dance, crying and changing into tong chun at the same time. that was how overwhelming that dance can be. yesterday, i did it again. when the snow came down, tears just collected in my eyes. i couldn't help it. the feeling was so powerful, so overwhelming. i felt like i really was in the snow. and it was an experience that combined both the juniors new to the dance, and us original dancers. it wasn't just me. except for one white skirt blunder, the dance was perfect. my 搬腿 was up without wobbling (for ONCE), every part had that feeling i associate with daidao. the huazhiqiao was good :)) up till the very last moment. i was crying as i ran offstage, to the enthusiastic applause of the audience. liying would tell me later it was the better item of the first half. :))) 冬天来了春天还会远吗？laoshi said this dance was a more complete and ready one, and no snow was needed, cos the effect was there already. just before we started to dance, peehua said that this was the last dance we were dancing under laoshi. yes, omg. yes. the music started, and we were on. the feeling was right, people remembered the formations, the moves just flowed. it was wonderful to be able to experience such a feeling, dancing dong tian. when we ran offstage, laoshi said we were not bad, and that it was a load off her mind. i'll always remember the struggle to manage the waltz, to find the 3/3 beat in a 4/4 music. the dancing in the corridors of the dressing room. the glitter on the hair, the funny toushi etc etc. how i used to get irritated with the poor attendance. and yet, in the end how we still performed pretty well. :)the thing that i regret most was the lack of cam whoring. we were all absorbed in the preparations, i didn't have a camera, etc. e only photos i took with the juniors were the huang hai zi photos, and one with bojia. so stupid. our room though, took plenty. all the ban tuis while we still can do it -.- so few memories with the juniors. well, i'll just have to capture it all in my mind instead. just like even now, i still can see flashbacks of all the nycd moments we've had in sec 4. i'll just fix it all in my mind. 黄孩子。i spent hours grilling them in the movements, the tuo ju, the steps, changing the duixing etc etc. then all our gossiping, crapping, laughing. me silencing the people in the area outside audi bｙ shh-ing and glaring just to create the perfect atmosphere for huang hai zi to dance. there were times when i was exasperated by the fact that they kept forgetting what we had kou-ed, but i have to say, they did a good job last night. huang hai zi dancers, i'm just so proud of you guys! and super touched by what you all did. when you found out i didn't hear your cheer, you guys even went to my room to look for me! so super sweet :))) i love all of you to bits! the rest is going to be really random. just flashbacks so that a few months down the road i can come back here and relieve everything.the funny makeup time in the juniors room, TH 108 and TH 107. helping jolyn do eyeliner is a funny experience, she keeps crying during that and screws up all her eye liner -.- the funny lipstick is IMBA red -.- super scary. and gremas eyeshadow is irritating! must dab, cannot spread -.- but the effect once its done is gooooodd. yiyi got imba bi liang -.- we all got super qiao eye shadow! makes our eyes look sexxyyy. i remember standing in the dressing room corridor during thurs' tech run watching the tv showing what was happening onstage. and watching chun dao that day made me n youxin cry! they were just so fantastic. plus the lightings, the background... everything was seriously perfect! maybe they kind of peaked too early, or maybe we just got used to the effect on stage, but the actual performance lost that quality. or maybe we were all too excited about everything to be so tou ru in watching. i thought molihua was not bad :) spent an hour talking to qiuhan on e phone this morning. emo-ing bout post dance night :( i'm not too sure how i feel now. felt really lost this morning, now i just feel like not doing anything. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING DANCE NOW. if this was any saturday before yesterday. dongtian, daidao. dance dance dance. no more tues wed fri practices where i go back n kou huang hai zi, no more barre work together, no more crapping with the juniors, eating chocolates like no one's business, dance marathon like last monday... everything's over. no more going back so often to my second home. nycd's studio will go back to being the junior's studio. for a glorious 2 months, it belonged to me again too. no more dancing with some of my batch mates, no more watching the fantastic dances. no more bothering about the costumes, no more irritating hair/toushi. no more laoshi. no more no more no more. grawh.and bojia you stupid woman i'm going to miss you :(and qiuhan, and siyu, and huifang, and yuanyuh, and wenqi, and sheena(where's my aluminium foil???) and aiyar everyone. everyone's made these 2 months so precious to me. i hate to think of leaving again. it's like sec 4 all over again.i'm going to crash farewell :) if i can haha.and then there's going to be a 庆功宴。cute funny mrs teo mentioned yesterday when i ran back in. Oh that reminds me, during our mass zhong tiao, kong was facing the glass panel that over looked the green room where mrs teo was. while we were doing it, mrs teo looked up and did the hand-like-a-bird-flying action -.- she's super cute! and she was training the sec1s and 2s in standing in a straight line while waiting for their turn at 走台。"must look at the head of the person in front of you! unless she's very short or very tall, i shouldn't see you if you are behind someone! haha you all aren't from npcc, dunno how to get into line." then she started doing the 1,2,3 move into position thingy for them! she made them shuffle around and then get back in line by 3!!! super funny we were super entertained while watching them. xinling said something bout: 嗨，年轻就是本钱。then mrs teo was like, 你很老么？super funny! visiting people's rooms are a funny business. entertaining, too. leaving all the stuff in the room overnight is goooddd. leaves us to go home almost empty handed. rebecca went home with a small handbag on thursday -.- we were all amazed. but i left all my costumes, hair accessories, dance shoes, makeup etc etc all in! so my bag was empty when i left on thursday too :) but actually when i left yesterday my bag was pretty empty too, as in not filled up la. so yep i have learnt to reduce the rubbish i lug around with me k! although i will nvr be as pro as wufan -.-messenger for xx -.- flower delivery to all hccd dancers in the nycd performance! was supposed to meet xx at the stage door at 645, then was called to the stage at 640 to run through dong tian -.- ended up there till 715 or so -.- dashed like mad to pass the flowers to all of them before the show started!3 prep calls. first, to call us to prepare. second call, to go to the corridor outside the stage. third call, go backstage. first announcement at 7.28. : all dancers, the doors to the audience will open in 2 minutes. omg. at that point in time we were all seated together in the corridor, listening to laoshi speak. i love laoshi. omg i love laoshi :) then, shen yun together. all 120 people, breathing as one. hands flowing as one, hearts beating as one. first position rises, stand for a while, and we were ready. all was calm. then, some juniors broke down, due to stress level. i spent much of the remaining time consoling people and calming them down -.- first bell, second, and final bell. : all dancers, molihua is starting. molihua is starting. omg. watched them do one of their best performances yet, then as they ran out, it was so sweet to see everyone calling "good job! well done!" etc to our dear junior dances as they exited from the stage door. the same for chun dao, but third item onwards i didn't really know wat was happening anymore. watched the first part of huang hai zi on the screen, then had to go backstage halfway to prepare to give the red fans to bailu as she came in from wu ren wu in chun jiang. but i was really proud of how far huang hai zi people have come :) passed the fans to bailu, ran back to put her white fan in her room. prepare for daidao. a few ban tuis, all unsteady backstage. ankle rises, and we were on. the snow. the wonderful snow. dashed out, took a picture with bojia. see what mental state she was in:bojia: "eh i need to rush for huaji!"kaishi: "eh you got 20 minute intermission la" bojia: " oh yea hor!" BLUR!the picture shows us with shiny arms -.- cos we were both sweating like shit from daidao. eww. haha then rushed back into the room to help peixuan with the skirt, and change myself. didn't get to watch hudie cos of something, can't really rmb what. missed qinghuaci due to last minute practice for dong tian. rawr. my favourite dance. very good comments about it too well done qinghuaci! missed most of hua ji, till we were asked onstage -.- the montage, then peehua's comment i mentioned earlier, and we were on.after us, fengwu. watched fengwu backstage with laoshi and shisi. she was more nervous than anyone else! she watched the whole thing with her hands over her mouth, and she moved with each action, each change in formation. could feel her literally holding her breath with yiyi's solo. at the end of it, she just said it was not bad. yep i agree! :) i enjoyed fengwu. hong chou next. i remember feeling surprised it was hong chou already. everything was so smooth, everything went so well that the evening melted away. really did. it was time for us to do our curtain call, before we knew it, we were out, step, two, bow. when laoshi came out, the screams and cheers and applause was deafening. but i knew i was part of the noise making -.- i was also crying then, but had to still smile widely cos the audience were still in full view. the last waving to the audience, the curtain falls. dance night is over.cheered for dance night. then photo taking, then dashed like mad off. it was so scary, the way people were rushing off. half the time i didn't know what was happening. so in e end i decided to go home. no time to take photos. once outside i was so surprised to see kitty jesslyn! sort of forgot they were coming haha. ng liying presented me with large bars of chocolate omg. suanwoo and zhiyu were there too! haven't seen them in ages. and catherine mummy! Oh yea it's supposed to be the class gathering today -.- i completely forgot over the whole excitement of dance night. ahhh. now i feel terrible. i still want to go and meet all of them!! i still cannot believe it's over. cannot believe. now, i've to settle down and prepare for school this monday. 《绽放的花季〉〉舞蹈晚会到此结束dance night '08. dancers are love.
living in my fantasy world
on Saturday, August 02, 2008; 8:58 AM
