like a pot on the boil, it simmers beneath the surface.sometimes, the lid is removed and the steam released. but other times, it isn't. what happens?an imminent explosion.and the extreme emotion overrides everything else in their lives.i realise i've been keeping my anger within me. since secondary sch. i've withheld my anger due to my fear of being ostracised. and i no longer noe how to release it, except at hm. i'll show my anger when someone at hm pisses me off, but not outside. but one thing i nvr do: bring home anger from outside. it's time you realised this. is being able to shove my anger out of sight a good thing? will i ever end up like that pot on the boil?i hate it when people always lose their temper over things that others do, then, when they do the same thing, even though unknowingly, everyone has to listen and give way to these people. and if there're circumstances behind it that makes things difficult for others, they dun care either. so nice.and then there are times when i give up certain things for other people. and then, when i hope to see reciprocation, it doesn't happen. i dun do things expecting reciprocation, it's jst that i hoped people would care more. but no, seemingly, no one does. somehow, i'm expecting less and less from other people. and less of myself with regards to how i should treat others. cos i dun see the point in me being the only stupid one. i dun see why i shld others before myself all the time when it obviously doesn't hold true the other way. and i dun see y i shld care so much about the safety of others when they couldn't care less about mine. no, i'm not pms-ing. my pms doesn't include mood swings.gods. i sound so selfish. but rly, that's the world nowadays. one has to learn to protect herself. after all, i'm important too, if only to myself.and dun rack your brains thinking of who and what i'm referring to, i'm a lateral thinker. people can't link what i can. u'll only waste energy and effort.this sucks.but i saw something which sincerely touched me the other day.our society is full of bias, full of prejudice, and full of pride. people who are related to disabled people usually feel a sense of shame or otherwise be unwilling to be linked to them. i'm not saying all are, i'm jst saying it's a common occurrence. yet, that day, while on the bus, i witnessed a nanyang girl alighting from the bus i was on. and then this man who looked as though he had suffered from a serious stroke due to the semi-paralysed look of his right hands and feet, as well as the head, stood up from where he was sitting at the bus stop and came to her. he was evidently her father. instead of the curt nod i expected from her to acknowledge him, she smile really widely and sincerely, slipped her hand into his and lead him home. this little sight really really touched me. there's still true love in this world. that of a daughter's love for a father who's no longer a whole as he could be. maybe because i keep seeing this which make this world and the people in it look ugly and horrible, but this little scene struck me as wonderfully beautiful. and right there and then on the bus, a tear traced a path across my cheek. love, indeed.and... on yet another happy note:今天 阿里郎 使我非常非常开心！！！虽然还有待进步，但已经是不错了!!!我看了好开心！！！ understanding of actions: check.synchronisation: check.enjoyment of the dance: check.energy level: check.:DDDD
living in my fantasy world
on Wednesday, May 16, 2007; 10:25 PM
