i'm really really tired.

i spend half my time worrying about dance, dance night and people, and the other half worrying about my schwork.

this really sucks.

motivation is key. but it's also wat's lacking now. and while i undst how it feels to be neglected, everyone is really really important in every dance. if anyone starts thinking that they're not impt and lags, or loses momentum, we're screwed. the whole stage has to be beautiful to project the kind of dancing we want the audience to see, so everyone is really important. but it's something i really dunno how to bring across to people.

people may be satisfied with what they're doing. but really, the standard is jst not there. it's really not at performance standard yet, but it's wat's going onstage if people dun buck up, and sort out their thinking. we're really messy, there's no performance watsoever in terms of expressiveness and... rawr we're basically not ready for it.

and i'm disappointed that asking people to go home to listen to the music and think of the dances is a chore. somehow, it always came to me instinctively, i nvr had to think of doing it to do it; i could be on the bus and somehow, i realise that i'm going through the dances in my head.

and i realised i'm losing steam too. i'm really tired.

oh whoever watever is out there, grant me strength. i'm not religious, but i desperately nd it. i don't want to present substandard items to the audience. but somehow, it seems like we will. the dances are interesting, but interesting is not enough.

tmr's e last prac for alilang. and j2 physics people haf physics spa. i want to do jiezou stuff at e start of cca, but i also want everyone to be there b4 i do tt. if not i'll haf to do it again, which will waste time. and then there's also the uncompleted freestyle. shucks.

and then i worry bout my frens. people drop hints about what may or may not be happening, and i'm left to worry about them. i'm unable to help, jst be there for them, but somehow i always feel what i'm doing is nvr enough.

and sch work. i wun get scolded this wk cos i've completed basically all that i've to except chem and econs, but still. nxt mon sees THREE freaking tests. MATHS CHEM ECONS. yayness.

and i bet i'll fail that gp compre that we did yesterday. freaking chauvinist text which made me emotionally swayed.

forget it. i'll jst go to bed and hope everything blows over soon. i'm a turtle/tortoise. my shell is my bed.


living in my fantasy world

on Tuesday, May 08, 2007; 8:52 PM