in life, there are ups and downs, and you're supposed to overcome them. and when you do, u'll feel really satisfied and glad.
but no one ever talks bout wat happens during the downs.
i wish i were less emotional.
it's impt to stay happy, but up till now it's proving impossible. it's all just a facade. and maintaining one is exhausting. even though i dun dance everyday like all the rest of hccd is doing because i can't, i still collapse onto my bed after taking my dinner and showering every night. it's more mentally exhausting then anything.
it might have been better not to be arnd at all. then i wouldn't be aware of all things, and there wouldn't be that fear rekindling within me. rekindling can be used here right? but somehow it just seems to have positive connotations. therefore not too sure.
i'm really not sure i can do it. i wish i could. or rather, that i was stronger mentally. and much much less emotional.
somehow it's so comfortable talking to you. thanks. though you probably wun read this.
there are things which i cannot tell the people whom i normally tell EVERYTHING to. i dun want to affect them.
and i still want to smash something against the wall. not anth in particular, just smashing would release my feelings more. i bet it'll be satisfying to hear that crashing sound.
and my leg's still slightly swollen. -.- sucks like shit.
oh and erm i'm not supposed to say anth. but...ok fine i shan't say. but let's just say i'm very relieved.
突然想用华文来抒发自己的心情，但却没有办法这么做，因为我的华文就是不够强。我小学时华文还算不错，但一升上中学我的的华文水水平就一直往下掉。上了初院后就再也没有学，也没有用华文了。有时想起来还真是可惜，但后悔也太迟了。其时这样也好，我有一些不该说的话也就说不出口了。也不算是什么不该说的活，就只是不想影响到别人的情绪。
forget it. i shan't blog anymore for today. after letting my thoughts go in circles for this whole hour, i have decided i shall let it stay in my head. it's just better this way...
pulling away is always hard. but somehow, sometime, one has to do it.
