ahh i seem to blogging everyday.nth better to do. -.-actually i'll do better to study lit.but ahh... no mood.exams seem over liao.-.-anyway...dunno y i keep getting affected by my mum's comments these few days.last wk she made me cry when she made that u just pass every ppr comment tt i mentioned in one of my previous posts.today e same thing happened, but e comment was that i'm a slacker who plays e piano so badly nowadays.i merely stopped practising after my diploma exam. TO PREPARE FOR O'S. and then i just din start piano again until recently. is it not excuse enuf to not haf my full technique back?add to the fact that i'm really losing confidence in all that i do.i used to be confident of playing the piano.in singing.and relatively so for dance.now, my piano technique sucks.i can play fast notes, but i cannot control dynamics. properly, anyway, wif feelings.i've forgotten huge chunks of my pieces which i'd committed to memory for exam last yr, when my memory for pieces used to be excellent.my mom made that piano comment when i was practicing just now.after that, i just din feel like playing anymore today.when i was intending to practice like 2 hrs???shittyfied.my voice sucks.it's no longer stable.and my pitching is not really accurate nowadays.dance.it's something that i'm really worried about.i FEEL my own deprovement.and i'm supposed to be dance ic.but i can see that i'm lagging behind in A LOT OF STUFF.shucks.add that i'm fat.really. and then there's my ultra heavy landing for grand jete, cartwheel, and all manner of jumps for that matter.and i no longer have that stationary in mid air feel when i jump, which is the proper way.and i dun have stamina. i couldn't last yesterday's prac without feeling like slacking.i din let myself really slack, but it was close.and then... hiaz.i should just stop complaining.i'm really losing confidence in a lot of the things i do.*shrugs and laughs.and to think ppl once thot that my confidence level was high.but look at the bright side.there's durians waiting for me downstairs :Dmaybe i'll call siewhong.she NVR fails to make me feel better :Din life everything happens for a reasonpeople dont's meet by chancebut by fatein meeting you, however,who cares about the reason?i'm just glad i did.-thanks siew hong. u cheered me up tt day :D
living in my fantasy world
on Sunday, July 02, 2006; 8:48 PM
